POSITIVE LOVE
This type of love occurs when mutual affinity and acceptance prevail.
According to the dictionary, affinity means: kinship between one spouse and the relatives of the other; conformity; relationship.
In chemistry, it means: the tendency of bodies to unite.
Playing with this word, affinity is:
- I am willing to accept you in what is different from me, even though we disagree on many things.
- I have a positive relationship with our differences. I may criticise what you do, but not you!
In positive love, life as a couple flows, alternating between good and bad moments, easy and difficult ones.
Learning takes place: renewal, development, moving on…
NEGATIVE LOVE
"Narciso acha feio aquilo que não é espelho." Caetano Veloso
I dislike the person because I am always fighting because they are not like me.
They are not my ideal mirror image.
HATE
"Como disse um jagunço do Guimarães Rosa, 'quem odeia o outro, leva o outro para a cama.'
Unlike the flame of a candle, the fire of hate is like a volcano.
It never goes out. On the outside, it may seem dormant.
Deep down, the flames crackle. The difference between the two?
Love, because of freedom, lets the other go.
In love, there is the permanent possibility of separation.
But hatred holds on. Have no doubt about it.
"Os casamentos mais sólidos são baseados no ódio..." Rubem Alves
It is also love in a negative sense, but with destructive content.
To hate is to be bound to negativity, to dispute, to fighting, to vanity and pride. If one dies, the other dies soon after. ATTACHMENT
Attachment is not pleasure, it is not feeling.
It is a thought
of possession.
In attachment, I cling, I attach myself, I objectify the other, I control, I command.
There is fear of loss.
In attachment, the person trusts nothing and no one. They do not let things flow.
Attachment builds stories instead of building relationships.
The relationship ends, but the story remains.
The person wants the other to answer for the story they have lived or, very often, only imagined.
Por: Jaqueline Cássia de Oliveira Fonte - Material didático CASAIS & FAMÍLIAS