Talvez possamos nos inspirar nas palavras
do poeta Carlos Drummond de Andrade
para tentar compreender algumas das questões familiares.
Poema que revela os conflitos que atravessamos no processo
de aceitação familiar e individuação.
Fim da casa paterna
"Vou dobrar-me à regra nova de viver
ser outro que não eu,
até agora musicalmente agasalhado
na voz de minha mãe, que cura doenças,
escorado no bronze de meu pai, que afasta os raios.
Ou vou ser menos, talvez isso,
apenas eu, unicamente eu,
a revelar-me na sozinha aventura em terra estranha?
Agora me retalha o canivete desta descoberta:
eu não quero ser eu, prefiro continuar objeto de família."
The decisive influence of the family on a person’s well-being is impressive. Even more impressive is people’s talk about their desire for autonomy from their families. That is, a great desire to be original, but at the same time bound by family loyalty to be the same.
How human beings need to belong!
First to a family group, then to a social, religious, professional group, etc.
The truth is that human beings are relational beings, part of a long chain of family interactions that extends longitudinally (historically) and transversally (presently). Thus, many of the things we experience in the present are repetitions of stories from our family past. We belong to a particular family when we recognise in ourselves the same stories, beliefs, dogmas, taboos and myths.
But all this is also a rather interesting paradox, because individual members of a family rarely feel like an integral part of it. They believe they are different from their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. They think they are original, different, individuals. But in most cases, they are copies of their family and their social and cultural group.
It is really difficult to be different, to be an individual.
To belong and not belong.
To seem and not seem.
To stop being copies and become individuals different from family rules, myths, secrets, follies and family illnesses, we must know, recognise and accept our roots.
Through the metaphor of the tree, we represent a family.
The roots represent the extended family; the trunk represents the family of origin; the branches and twigs represent the current family.
The genossociogram—an annotated family tree—provides information about its members and their relationships across at least three generations. We highlight facts, their repetitions, their exceptions, and their interactional patterns, which will allow for a better understanding of this family.
In this way, we are able to order the facts, follow the movements of change, and perceive the life cycles and their transitions. The more we know about family histories, the more we expand our AWARENESS and thus become free to make new choices and take new, unexplored paths.
In my professional practice, I have integrated some transgenerational approach therapies, such as Psychogenealogy, with the use of the genossociogram and the social atom, in addition to the use of resources from Systemic Psychotherapy (genogram, metaphorical genogram, photographic genogram), Family Constellations and Archetypal and Imaginal Psychology (images and dreams). Thus, I have ‘christened’ my practice as Applied Systemic Psychogenealogy.
I can therefore say that Applied Systemic Psychogenealogy is a practice that focuses on the family and transgenerational inheritance, questioning deep-rooted beliefs while accepting the mythical figures of ancestors (heroes or bandits).
Going beyond these barriers of myths and secrets rooted in families, giving their members back the possibility of accepting, tracing and responding to new destinies is one of the tasks of the systemic psychogenealogist.
Texto escrito por:
Jaqueline Cássia de Oliveira
Psicóloga - CRP 04/7521
Psicoterapeuta Familiar Sistêmica (Brasil)
Formação em Psicogenealogia (Itália)