Do you know how a legend is born? From a true story. The dynamics are similar to that of the well-known children's game “cordless phone”. And the same thing happens with family stories. Someone narrates a fact that happened in their life or in the life of a family member, exalting one part and hiding another.
As in the “cordless phone” game, in which one whispers something in the other's ear; in families some things are whispered, exchanging facts, between half truths and half lies.
So we create myths (legends), which can be integrators or disintegrators.
Integrating or symbolic myths (that unite, that connect) are salutary. For something difficult to understand, a story is then created to facilitate the integration of the fact into the reality of that moment. For example, the death of a grandfather can be narrated to the grandson as the moment when his dear grandpa became a little star in the sky.
Sacred myths, in all cultures, try to integrate Heaven and Earth, the unknown with the known, the incomprehensible with the comprehensible. In the same way that our unconscious uses the symbolic language to bring together our two worlds – the external and the internal, the appearance and the essence.
But according to culture, religion, social status, degree of perfection and vanity, the opposite can happen in our families: painful or shameful facts are hidden, creating unspeakable secrets, where a diabolical myth is installed. Diabolical because it divides, splits, gives a double message, excluding something that is part of the system, of the REAL, of the WHOLE. Here the madness, the tragedies appear, as if they were ghosts that, from time to time, appear and haunt.
Being in Italy, for longer seasons, I have had the opportunity to visit medieval cities and castles. And the castles have many legends and also many ghosts!!
And who are the ghosts?
The etymology of the word ghost comes from the Greek “phantázein” to make appear, in turn derived from “phaínein” to show. This word and its meaning are linked to “phos” light, as its presence shows us what there is to see.
Phantom is everything or everyone who, for some reason, was unduly EXCLUDED from the system's field of vision, whether out of shame, pain, suffering, trauma, being disintegrated from the WHOLE.
The point is, what was unduly excluded from their system will “appear” as a phantom limb, which will then haunt through symptoms, madness, repetitions of tragedies or materializing in a new limb in subsequent generations.
It's like the ghost (the excluded one), from time to time, appears saying to your system:
– You excluded me, but I'm here!!!
I am here!!
This “phenomenon” can happen in various circumstances, such as when we lose a body member in an accident and continue to feel it. Also when we exclude a feeling that “appears” to us in the form of a symptom, or a traumatic situation that “appears” to us in the form of oneiric nightmares.
Ghosts haunt us because we don't want to see them and integrate them into our lives!
It's our shadow sides that we insist on hiding, on excluding. And, at the same time that we hide something that has traumatized or embarrassed us, we immediately create a beautiful, perfect appearance, above suspicion.
And then, visiting the castle of Montebello in the Emilia Romagna region, I learned a little more about a very famous little ghost around here: Azzurrina – in Portuguese Azulzinha.
…aveva gli occhi color del cielo ei capelli chiari coi riflessi azzurrini…
…he had eyes the color of the sky and light hair with blue highlights…
Azzurrina was descended from a very wealthy family, the Malatestas. They owned many lands and many kingdoms, where marriages were contracted by church and state to bring together noble families, increase power and also appease wars.
The legend says that Azzurrina, protagonist of a sad fact, was an 8-year-old girl, albino and with blue eyes.
But in that medieval era, albino women were considered witches and would have supernatural and demonic powers, therefore, they were not well regarded.
This story, which has been told for three centuries, is full of fantasy elements, fascinating to this day.
Legend has it that Azzurrina was born an albino and the diversity of others is something that has always scared human beings, sometimes leading them to believe that the best medicine is to eliminate what is different.
So, to defend (or hide?) their daughter, initially her parents dyed her hair with a dye that turned them blue.
Because of this, her father decided to keep her under the surveillance of two guards: Romenico and Ruggero and would not let her leave the house, to protect her from prejudice and what people would say about her.
It is said that, in December 1383, while her father was away in battle, Azzurrina, watched over by two guards, played in the castle of Montebello, with a ball of cloth, while a strong storm began outside.
According to legend, her ball fell down the stairs and Azzurina went down after her. The girl's guardians also followed her, but she fell from the top of that ladder into the interior of the castle where there was a large mound of snow (glacier). The guards heard a horrible scream, but when they got there, they found nothing.
It is said that Azzurina's body was never found...
And the legend says that the ghost of Azzurrina is still in the castle and that it appears every 5 years, at the same time as the summer solstice.
To this day, many scholars go to Montebello Castle to study the supernatural phenomena that take place there. There are even recordings of a child calling “mamma”, also stories about objects changing places and so many cases about ghosts that live in this castle, in addition to the little girl's ghost.
Some historians researched more about the legend of Azzurrina and found other answers to the facts, arriving at another narrative:
The lord of the Montebello castle was married to the daughter of the then opposing Malatesta family. But he was ugly, dull, older and lame. The marriage was proposed to unite the possessions and powers of the two families.
But his young and beautiful wife had always betrayed him.
She became pregnant and her husband hoped they would have a son. However, a girl was born, who was named Adelina. The point is that Adelina was very different physically, because she was born extremely blonde and with blue eyes, which registered a betrayal.
Therefore, the suspicion here is that this betrayed husband, out of shame, managed to “disappear” with the girl, the result of his wife's adultery.
History or legend, the point is that ghosts are the ones wrongly excluded from their system of belonging!
The suggestion is to pay close attention to our ghosts!!
And when they appear, we can say:
_ OK! I look at you! You are here yes!
_ You exist and you have the right to exist!
_ You are an important member of my history yes
And we can ask questions:
_ But who are you?
_ What do you need?
_ Who excluded you?
_ How can I include you and give you a place of honor in my history?
We can also broaden this idea and see this phenomenon in a social and even global way. When we “see” (often not wanting to see) people who are excluded socially, psychologically, culturally, financially, etc., instead of being scared as if they were ghosts, we can see them as part ofare unduly excluded from our SYSTEM, from the REAL, from the WHOLE.
THE WHOLE IS GREATER THAN THE SUM OF THE PARTS!
Jaqueline Cássia de Oliveira Psychologist CRP 04/7521 Systemic Family Psychotherapist (Brazil) Training in Psychogenealogy (Italy)
