Often, it is around a symptom that an emotional relationship is created. It is something very dubious, but very real.
The question is:
What is a sexual symptom?
– A deficiency? “I lack this.”
– An inability? “I am not capable.”
– An inadequacy? “I am inadequate.”
– A painful burden? “I don’t get erections”; “I don’t feel pleasure.”
The task of the systemic couple and sex therapist is to accept this description and look for the relational issue:
– Is it a problem?
– For whom is it a problem?
– In relation to what?
If we can see the symptom as a relational issue, we can change the stability of the symptom, which makes sense at that moment for that couple.
**Often a symptom is the solution to a problem.
The sexual symptom itself can be a choice, as the solution to a problem.
It has an adaptive function in a moment of fatigue, stress or as a response to the partner’s behaviour.
**Symptoms speak, they say things…
Systemic questions:
– What does your sexual difficulty say to your husband?
– What does your husband’s premature ejaculation mean to you?
– Is sex a problem for you?
– What would happen to you if sex worked very well?
The system influences the production of the symptom, and when there is a symptom, the whole system organises itself around it.
When there is a sexual problem, it is likely that the couple no longer feels like a couple, but they may live together around this problem for many, many years.
A relational stability is created.
Note: the systemic sex therapist cannot lose sight of the communicative aspect of the symptom.
Dott.ssa Teresa Arcelloni
Psiquiatra, Psicoterapeuta Sexual Sistemica, Professora formadora do Centro Milanese di Terapia della Famiglia, Italia.
Ministra seminários, além da Itália, em vários países - Alemanha, Chile, México, Brasil.
CURSO INTERNACIONAL
em 33 vídeo-aulas
TERAPIA DE CASAL & TERAPIA SEXUAL SISTÊMICA
Com as formadoras: Dott.ssa TERESA ARCELLONI e Dott.ssa GLORIA FERRERO