Omission is tantamount to complicity in cases of domestic abuse.
Walcyr Carrasco – Veja, Nov/19
A couple of friends of mine had a nanny for years. Their children grew up, but they remained friends with this simple woman from the countryside. She often visits them.
I mention this to show the level of trust and friendship that surrounds this woman.
A few years ago, she started working for another couple, acquaintances of the first.
Months later, horrified, the nanny made an accusation: the father was abusing his daughter, who was still a child.
She reported the man to the girl’s mother. She was afraid to go to the police because it would have been ‘my word against his’, as she herself said.
It was a mess.
My friends were scandalised and couldn’t understand how a rich, educated man could be capable of such a thing.
The mother confronted her husband. He confessed to the abuse. He went to a psychiatrist. And… surprise! The couple reconciled.
The mother ‘forgave’ him. The two are still together, and the feeling remains that there is something wrong, hidden beneath the façade of a wealthy and ‘respectable’ family. (Psychopathy)
Recently, the same couple found a new job for the nanny. A few months later, she returned with the same story: the father had abused his daughter. The man is a successful businessman.
Everyone came to the conclusion that it was the nanny’s fault. They thought she had mental problems and saw abuse everywhere. They even considered having the woman hospitalised.
There is a kind of rule among middle-class families. They protect each other, scandals are covered up. No one calls the police.
But the facts came to light: the child’s private parts were inflamed. She begged not to be forced to ‘touch Daddy’s willy’ anymore.
My friend was in crisis: how could a great entrepreneur abuse his daughter?
I explained to him that abuse is not limited to one social class.
Once again, the nanny did not have the courage to go to the police.
I, who still do not know the name of the abuser, insisted to my friend that he himself had to report it.
When you learn about something like this, omission is tantamount to complicity.
My friend replied that he didn’t want to destroy the family, etc., etc. Surprised, I asked him: isn’t this family already destroyed?
Very well. It wasn’t. The mother talked to the father about it. Like the other couple, they decided to ‘get through’ the situation.
They continued to give the impression of being a perfect, happy and successful family.
He promised not to do it again, etc., etc. My friend also remained silent…
I think of that poor little girl, growing up in that family of permitted abuse.
I see politicians and religious leaders defending ‘the family’. The very kind of family that seems perfectly normal from a distance.
But beneath this happiness… how much abuse, how much cruelty is hidden beneath immense hypocrisy?
No one wants to touch these people because they are rich. And if they are reported, they will have excellent lawyers.
Nothing will happen. As happened in this story.
Everything has remained exactly the same.
Ah, no! Only one person suffered the consequences: the nanny was dismissed. Without references.